He's really gone...

I miss my Toby... :(

14 years.. wasn't long enough. He used to comfort me whenever I was sad.. but I'm sad now and he's gone so whose going to comfort me now? I was at work all day it was okay, until I got a text asking if I wanted to be there when they buried him.. that's when it hit me.. it's all real. He's really gone. I love my puppy Toby and I miss him. But I know he's in a better place now and he's out of his pain. 

I love you Toby! 

The List.

So I know most people make new years resolutions.. or "to-do" lists and well we all know those things never happen.. but I'm determined to make a list and to make it happen. And I'm going to call this list.. my dream list. :) I don't have much on this list, but this list is the most important list I have ever made. I decided to make this list based on a quote that I have hanging in my room it reads, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Henry So, therefore.. I am going to go confidently in that direction by starting a list. Which I have faith I will accomplish everything on it. 

My Dream List

Get married to the love of my life.

Have some babies.

Buy a puppy.

Go to school for floral design.

Open up my very own flower shop.

Live my life to the fullest.

Be the nicest I can be to everyone around me.

Go to Hawaii again.

Keep my room clean for more than 3 months.

Buy a new shirt.

Save some money.

Try Sushi.

Eat some fish and decide if I still hate it.

Take at least one picture a day for a month.

Get a passport.

Blog at least once a week.

This is hard.

Do you know what the worst feeling in the world is? When you realize that it's time to let go of something that you love. For example, on Monday my dog will be put to sleep.. I'm pretending like oh it's okay, when deep down inside it hurts. I don't like to say goodbye. He's been my friend for a long time. Every time I cried, needed someone to talk to, my dog was there cuddling with me and letting me know everything was going to be okay. I know it sounds cheesy but I don't care. I'm going to miss him. I've been so selfish not letting my family do this for awhile but it's because I don't want to let go. It's going to be weird to not have my Toby around anymore. And it's going to be hard. But I know everything will be okay, that he'll be better. Not in pain and miserable anymore. And hey if there really is a doggy heaven he'll be able to keep my old dog fidget some company. It's weird to think that soon I'm not going to have my furry little buddy around anymore. That when I get home from work on Monday, and for the rest of my life.. he's not going to be there by the back door wagging his tail waiting for me... I'm not going to have the chance to yell at him and tell him to stop licking himself because it's my pet peeve.. It's going to be silent. It's going to be just weird. It's the weirdest thing to think about and it hurts. He means a lot to me, he's apart of my family and I am going to miss him so much. But everything will be okay.

Just curious.

Were You A:

N*sync Girl?

OR A:

Backstreet Boys Girl?

Happy 4th everyone! :)

I hope all of you have a fabulous 4th filled with junk food.. or healthy, laughter, fireworks and family! Enjoy!

XO-Chelsey

Camping! What a delight!

Well, it sure does feel great to be back! My own bed.. a nice shower.. no dirt or snakes. Brilliant! :) ha! I do love camping but I'm so glad to be back. It was fun. Filled with cold water from the creek, whining dogs, and children crying, laughing and being cranky. But on the bright side I got told I love you millions of times. I love my nieces and nephew. So cute! :) 

XO-Chelsey